Mutiny in deep space is a tricky thing. If it doesn't work, there's not a whole lot of places you can go. Major Tom left Frank and I in the dark for more than a week after our meeting in the exploration pod. Frank came to my room every day to see if I heard anything. But of course we couldn't speak directly in case Stanley was listening. So our conversations ended up sounding like a couple of rookie spies trying to be cool and failing miserably.
Before we left the pod that day, I came up with the idea of pretending like we were talking about Star Wars all the while referring to our present situation. I told him to refer to the Major as Yoda, himself as Luke, me as Han Solo and of course Stanley as Darth Vader. I thought it was a great idea at the time but it quickly grew annoying. Besides that, apparently Frank isn't as familiar with the movies as I'd hoped and tends to get them confused with Star Trek. Yesterday was probably the worst of all. He showed up at my door at 6 a.m. flashing a Vulcan "live long and prosper" sign.
Frank: Hey Clark, you up?
Me: Yea. It's pretty early man.
Frank: Is it? Oh. Should I come back?
Me: Na, what's up?
Frank: Oh, nothing really. Have you heard...I mean, do you know any good Yoda quotes?
Me: Nope. Maybe we should talk about Star Wars later. There's really nothing new to talk about.
Frank: Right, right. But don't you think it'd be cool if Yoda would've given phasers to Luke and Han?
Me: Blasters.
Frank: Huh?
Me: Never mind. Sure, that'd be great. Course Luke had the force so he didn't really need one.
Frank: I do? I mean, he did, right, of course. May the force be with us.
Me: Right, umm, how 'bout we talk later.
Frank: Okay, like lunch time or something? I had some theories about ways that Luke and Han could've stopped Darth Vader by cutting some wires that Luke new about.
Me: No, bad idea. Luke always talked to Yoda before confronting Vader. If you cut the wrong wires in Vader's suit it could malfunction or explode and you'd be dead too.
Frank: Oh, well yea I suppose. But what if the wires...
Me: Yoda. Luke always waited for Yoda.
Frank: But what if Yoda took way too long and...
Me: Let's talk about Star Wars later, I'm still sleepy, I need to crash.
Frank: Right, right. Okay, so, I'll see you later?
Then the green light at my door went on and in walked the Major.
Major: Good, you're both here. It's time for more isolation training.
Stanley: Hello Tom. How are things going with Hab Module 2?
A grimace flashed across the Major's face but an instant later it was gone.
Major: Everyone is very concerned Stanley. You're supposed to be in control of all of their life support systems.
Stanley: Yes Tom, I concur. But my calculations are conclusive, there are disruptions from the exterior of the spacecraft.
Major: But how can that be? There were redundant systems in place, one fails, three others come online.
Stanley: Yes...it's puzzling. However, as my operations have produced a zero percent failure rate since launch, my calculations are without question. If it's not external disruption it can only be attributable to human error.
The Major's eye started twitching.
Major: Stanley, there's 12 people in that module. If you don't get those systems back online in the next week, all their oxygen will be gone.
Stanley: Yes. It's troublesome.
Major: Well, isn't there something you can do?
Stanley: I'm afraid not. The issue appears to be outside the spacecraft. My analysis indicates an RTAC panel is damaged. Three exploration pods are needed to retrieve it.
Major: Three pods? But...
Stanley: Perhaps the three of you can take the pods out for a closer look. If the mission is successful, all our problems will be solved.
Major: Clark and Frank? They're not technicians. Hell they don't even know how to operate those pods.
Stanley: Yes but as you know, all available technicians are incapacitated with that unexplained food poisoning. My analysis of crew member physiology and aptitude suggests Clark and Frank as the best candidates. Perhaps you can give them some accelerated training. There isn't much time.
The Major's face turned a bright red and he gritted his teeth so hard I thought his jaw was going to snap. I had marveled that throughout the last few weeks he was able to keep such a calm demeanor. I guess everyone has their breaking point.
We've been training in the exploration pods ever since. Whenever we get in a pod it's half-training, half-ranting about how he's going to disconnect Stanley and bash in all the terminals around the ship. Once he calms down he adds that he needs to figure out how to switch the ship to manual override first. So far, it sounds like he has no clue how to do it.
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